Harley’s and Autism, not such different worlds

​I bet you wouldn’t believe me if I told you that riding a Harley is a lot like dealing with Autism? I bet you wouldn’t believe that you can learn a lot about managing the world of autism by understanding how to ride a motorcycle. For you to believe how these two seemingly different and very misunderstood worlds are alike you will have to suspend your ideas and beliefs and look at it from a different point of view. Funny how we all have a narcissistic tendency to formulate an opinion about something we have never experienced. For decades Hollywood has painted a portrait of Harley riders as gangs with no rules, no showers and someone you should always avoid. However, today more than ever that demographic just doesn’t fit. There are more female and college educated riders than ever before. As our world changes so do the stereotypes, so, what is your stereotype for autism? Because if you have met one person with autism then you have met one person with autism. They are individuals, meaning they all have individual traits and those traits must be considered when working with an individual with autism. But how is having autism and riding a Harley the same? The first thing they have in common is that you don’t know how to ride a motorcycle until you get on the motorcycle and ride. Sure, there are some things in life that prepare you, a little I guess, like riding a bicycle.  Still not the same, if you fall off a bicycle chances are you won’t die, hopefully just wind up with a skinned knee.  But getting on that Harley for the first time you know you don’t know exactly how to ride. It is exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time. The adrenaline is pumping and there are two voices in your head going back and forth between “I’m a total bad A-- and your gunna die”. Having a child with autism is the same, you know how to parent, but not really. Maybe you babysat in high school, read all the books and perhaps took a parenting class, but it just isn’t the same. You may be ready to parent a child but not necessarily a child with Autism.  Still exhilarating (I am totally in love with this child) and terrifying (I don’t know what to do and I don’t want to mess this up) emotions. There are however some lessons we can learn from riding and apply it to teaching this very diverse and dynamic population.
Push don’t pull. Any seasoned rider will tell you that turning a motorcycle is simple push the handle bars, don’t pull. It’s not a car.  I have caught myself pulling for a turn only to look around and make sure the other riders didn’t catch my rookie move. You can’t pull someone with autism, they are way too smart for that. Pulling someone along is a mentality that you know best and they should just get with the program. Life doesn’t work that way for them. The reasons someone with autism may resist your direction is always a little different, going back to the individual aspect. Pushing them gently toward a goal or action allows them to absorb the transition. Long gone are the days of “do as I say not as I do”. Children become smarter and smarter every generation and expecting them to just do because you spoke is a recipe for disaster. Let them know what is coming, what it looks like and what the expectations are (talk to them). Then give them a moment to understand and move in that direction. Another facet of a gentle push is that it allows you to make course corrections as you go. We have all experienced that moment of epic parent failure, it is okay to not know how to teach something. Mistakes are just the worlds way of making coarse corrections. Always remember EVERY behavior has a reason, it may take you a few tries to figure it all out. But it is worth the time and effort because these guys have way more potential than almost everyone gives them credit for.  Think of it like getting on a motorcycle for the first time. I don’t know 100% what I’m doing but I am smart enough and passionate enough to figure it out! Next– not everyone can take a curve.